“…people need to make their intentions known from the day they decide to “take things seriously” with someone. But that comes with prior introspection.“
Monogamy (noun): A romantic relationship with only one person at a time. [Conjugation: Monogamous]
Cheat (verb): To engage in emotional/romantic and/or sexual acts with someone other than your partner without their knowledge; and if knowledge of the act would be known to your partner, will cause discomfort in the relationship.
Leading up to creating this survey, everywhere I turned there was some discussion about relationships and unfaithfulness. So I started thinking… 🤔 Are humans meant to be monogamous? What do others think? What do St. Lucians think? So for our April 2021 anandACensus, I decided to investigate…
Last month I was unable to boost the survey online as I usually do, and therefore returned disappointing totals – so I was really excited for this month. However, I only got a total result with 37 survey respondents. Nevertheless, researchers have to take what we get and create a “tada” moment! (See what I did there?) 😏
Twenty-five respondents (68%) claimed to be in their 20s and 30s, and nine (24%) indicated they were between the ages 40 to 49.
The majority of respondents were female (92%) and only 3 male. Fifteen respondents (41%) indicated they were single, 12 (32%) in a relationship or common-law relationship and nine (24%) indicated they were married.
Only one female respondent in her twenties indicated that she has never committed to a monogamous relationship. Of those who had been in committed relationships, calculations revealed respondents had already been in an average of 3 monogamous relationships at the time of taking the survey.
When asked “Do you believe humans are meant to be monogamous?”, 23 respondents (54%) indicated “yes”, 12 respondents (32%) indicated “not sure” and five respondents (13%) said “no”.
When asked to indicate why, of those who responded yes, 14 gave biblical reasons and 6 indicated that non-monogamous relationships bring about too much complication. Of the 14 who responded “no” or “not sure” the general consensus was that monogamy is just unrealistic and that persons do not seem to know how to be monogamous.
When respondents were asked, “… have you ever cheated on your partner(s)?”, 18 respondents (49%) indicated yes, with 13 of them indicating the reason as “being emotionally unsatisfied”. The second most popular reason was “emotional abuse” (6 persons) and the third was tied with 3 respondents indicating that they “felt like it” or they were “unsatisfied sexually”.
Interestingly enough, of the 18 who indicated cheating in the past, 12 said that they believed “humans are meant to be monogamous” and that it should be practiced by “both males and females”.
So what does all this mean? Does this mean those 12 persons (who may represent a significant group of persons in our communities) changed their mindset about monogamy along the way? Or do they live by a double standard? Or does that mean we have a warped way of thinking, that one can say humans are meant to be monogamous yet go against monogamy?
This survey was a bit lengthy and the more I thought about the subject, the more questions I wanted to develop – but I did not. Further investigation can shed some light on so many things, but I think mainly, deeper investigation can reveal the reasons why unfaithfulness plagues our societies. Unfaithfulness is borne out of and/or leads to emotional distress for one or all parties involved, and if we think this does not in turn contribute to our overall interactions in society, we are lying! I think people need to make their intentions known from the day they decide to “take things seriously” with someone. But that comes with prior introspection. An introspection where one is completely honest with him- or herself, about what he or she desires for one’s life and not what is expected of them. I think that is where we falter a lot, living in this world.
Follow Ananda Consulting on our social media platforms for more anandACensuses and more of our questions! April 2021: “Saint Lucians’ Views on Monogamy”.